Terapi



Its been a very very busy month at the office. My therapy after a very stressful day at the work.

 

I cook. I bake.

 

One day I plan to compile a recipe book consisting of all my girls' favourite food. I want to call it "Recipes for My Daughters".



 

 Congo Bar.

Lemon Rosemary Roast Chicken

Sambal ikan bilis potai.

Sherpherd's pie

Prawn green curry

Pembuka selera. Ikan bilis goreng dengan tempe

All time family favourite. Soto ayam.

Of Being Parents

Sekarang tengah hangat diperkatakan berkenaan pasangan Malaysia di Sweden tu. I'm not here to comment on them. Saya doakan semoga dipermudahkan urusan mereka dan dapat disatukan kembali keluarga tersebut.

 

Apa yang saya ingin katakan ialah apabila cerita mengenai mereka di bincangkan di FB or other social media , komen dari kebanyakan orang berkenaan cara mendidik anak anak. Komen komen seperti....

 

"Aku dulu mak bapak pukul dengan batang paip, ok jer. Baru boleh jadi orang"

 

"Mak aku dulu, hanger, rotan, tali pinggang.. apa aku tak pernah kena. Mak bapak pukul untuk mengajar."

 

Dan komen komen yang sewaktu dengan nya.

 

My sincere question, adakah memukul untuk mengajar anak ini budaya kita? It is my sincere question because that is not how I was brought up.

 

Saya tidak kata cara itu salah. There is no one sure way on how to raise your kids. Mungkin cara itu betul tapi tidak bermakna cara yang lebih lembut itu akan melahirkan anak anak yang kurang hemah nya.

 

Mungkin benar. Anak anak yang dibesarkan dengan disiplin yang kuat, termasuk akan dipukul jika melakukan kesalahan akan menjadi individu yang lebih cekal, lebih kuat dan lebih berdisiplin. TETAPI, saya tetap menyokong anak anak yang dibesarkan dengan cara yang berbeza boleh menjadi individu yang sama cekalnya, kuatnya dan disiplin nya tetapi mereka mempunyai pemikiran yang berbeza. How they carry themselves will be different. Again, these differences doesn't mean one is better than the other.

 

Both me and En ID never hit our children. Not even a tap on their hands. Kami memang ibubapa yang "lemau". Approach kami lebih kepada bercakap... bercakap... dan bercakap. We talk like adult to our children. Tell them the consequences of their action. Mungkin kerana kedua anak kami perempuan.  Tapi tidak bermakna semasa kecil mereka duduk diam, sopan tanpa masalah. Anak anak saya banyak mengajar saya tentang kesabaran. Bila kesabaran makin nipis, suara akan semakin tinggi dan alhamdulillah, En ID will always be there to remind me to calm down. And vice versa, if he is angry, I will be the antidote.

 

Why we choose this approach? Firstly, because I was brought up that way. Saya tidak pernah dipukul atau dirotan oleh abah or mama. Never! For En ID, when I asked him about his childhood, he said doesn't want to remember the "not so nice" part. So, I take the cue that even if he did experience the "rotan", he just feel it is not good and he doesn't want his kids to experience it.

 

Kedua. Sebab saya tak sampai hati. Anak anak saya adalah anugerah Allah yang amat besar pada saya. Anugerah ini datang dengan tanggungjawab yang besar juga. Saya perlu banyak bersabar dalam membesarkan amanah Allah ini.

 

So, how do we manage their "misbehaviour"? Apa misbehavoiur yang usually akan menyebabkan orang rotan atau pukul anak yer?

 

If they throw tantrum - we physically remove her to another area until she calm down. Both of us will just look at her. If it happened at shopping complex, we angkat, masuk kereta and balik. When she has calmed down, we will ask her why she behave like that and told her the consequences of her action is that we all have to go home. The next time we want to go out, I will remind her that if she throw tantrum like the last time, we will go back and it will spoil the outing.

 

If they pecahkan or rosakkan barang - we will tell them to be careful next time. if it happen again, we remind them again. If it happen again, the next time she hold similar thing, we will remind them there and then to be careful and show them how to handle it correctly. Lemau kan? Yes. But yang pecah tu harta dunia. Boleh dibeli. Mereka harta akhirat saya.

 

Kalau mereka bergaduh... alah.. budak perempuan. Ganas mana lah kalau bergaduh. And since both me and En ID jarang meninggi suara, so, tak de lah diorang nak menjerit jerit pun. Habis habis pun.. mummy... look what adik did! Mummy.... look what kakak did!.

 

Solat - so far alhamdulillah. Mereka mendengar kata. Saya tekankan yang solat adalah ibadah kepada Allah. Tak boleh solat sebab takut mummy marah. Kena solat sebab Allah. Takut pada Allah.

 

So far, alhamdulillah. We feel our approach is ok.

 

Again, saya tidak kata merotan dan memukul anak itu approach yang salah. Different people, different family background apply different approach. Cuma yang saya ingin katanya, pendekatan yang lembut tidak semestinya akan melahirkan anak yang besar kepala, manja dan kurang disiplin.

 

Itu saja. Cheers!

Tuan Tanah

One of my hobby is gardening. Although most of activities of gardening and maintenance is done by Bibik but I still determine what to plant and where to plant.

Last weekend, after a long hiatus, tuan tanah ni pergi lah jenguk juga tanah sekangkang kera kat belakang rumah tu. Bersihkan mana yang patut. Pokok yang perlu buang, kena buang. Bibik will not buang without my green light.

So, here is what I have at my backyard.

 

Cili api

 

Limau purut

 

Daun sup

 

Rosemary

 

Daun kesum

 

Daun kari dan serai

 

Pokok daun selasih yang dah kering. Nak dibuang tapi sayang. Try to salvage it. Tengok la seminggu dua ni macam mana keadaan dia

 

Cekur. Ini bibik saja yang reti guna.

 

Pokok ubi kayu untuk bekalan pucuk ubi bibik. Ini dah di trim. kalau tak, dah macam semak. Ada daun pandan bekalan untuk buat nasi lemak

 

Dan pokok rambutan! Tanah sekangkang kera masih ada hati nak tanam pokok rambutan!

 

 

We used to have pokok mangga kat sini tapi bila ada kerengga bersarang, we all tebang pokok tu. Sekarang diganti dengan pokok rambutan. Beli masa MAHA tahun lepas. Dah setahun dah ni. Bila agaknya boleh petik rambutan belakang rumah? 

My Kind of Travelling

Last weekend we decided to go back to En. ID hometown in Batu Pahat. Then teringat nak singgah AG, hantar barang Ms A and her favourite meatballs.

 

Bekal untuk Ms M makan dalam kereta

 

Bekal untuk Mummy and Papa nya

 

Singgah sekolah Ms A, sekadar hantar barang kat guard saja sebab hari Jumaat, parents tak boleh melawat. On the way nak ke highway semula, ternampak nyonya jual durian kat tepi jalan. Terus berenti.

 

Durian kampung. Sekilo RM5

 

Makan di situ saja. Tak nak bau kereta.

 

So succulent...!!!!!!

Keluar dari highway, saja lalu Tangkak. Sebab nak cari mee bandung Muor!!!!! Ramai cadangkan pergi ke satu kedai di Jln Abdullah or something tapi sebab En. ID nak solat Jumaat, tak boleh nak round lama lama, we end up at makan kat restoren ni. Sederet dengan kedai murtabak singapore yang famous kat Muar tu. Deret Petronas sebelum Sekolah Sains Muar.

]

 

My order. Mee Bandung biasa. A bit too sweet for my liking

 

Order En. ID. Mee Bandung special.

 

 

Sampai Batu Pahat, nenek En. ID dah siap masakkan rendang ayam nogori. En. ID's family orang N9 yang bermastautin di Batu Pahat.

 

 



 

Rendang yang sungguh sedap. Dah lama belajar buat tapi masih tak sama rasa dan rupa.

 

Malamnya, kami pergi makan di restoren favourite En. ID and his family. Restoren ni dari dia kecik dah ada. They call it Jeng Kuan tapi nama yang tulis kat situ Kwang Ah.



 

Mee Hailam.

 

Rojak Petis Batu Pahat Style. Banyak kangkung and taugeh. Tak berapa pedas which I like.

 

Pagi esoknya, saya dan En. ID ke pasar Batu Pahat. Tujuan utama adalah nak breakfast kat satu kopitiam tepi pasar Batu Pahat tu.

 

My order, lontong biasa. Nasi impit tu dia guna ketupat.

 

En. ID order lontong dengan rendang daging.

 

Order sate jugak. Orang Batu Pahat ni biasa makan sate masa breakfast.

 

Kopi ais sebagai pelengkap.

 

 

This is my kind of travelling. Makan... makan dan makan. And I like to try local street food. Authentic!!!!

 



Review of the Week

Minggu yang sangat sibuk
Tak sedar dah hari Jumaat

Ms M dah mula kelas tuition minggu ni
Pertama kali pergi tuition sebab nak UPSR tahun ni
Isnin sampai Rabu saya perlu balik jam 5 tepat.
Perlu sampai rumah awal.
Tengokkan kerja sekolah dia
Makan malam dengan dia
Pastikan dia dah kemas bag sekolah dan segala persiapan untuk kesekolah esoknya
Lepas solat maghrib, hantar dia ke kelas tuition
Balik kol 10, dia terus tidur.
Setakat ni dia suka dengan rutin baru ini

Dipejabat pula
Additional workload!
Additional country to cover
Ditambah dengan seorang staff resign
Tapi sebelum dia resign, I discovered one region was not properly covered. A lot of things not done or not properly done
In short, more challenges at work.

But I'm a firm believer of work-life balance.
5 sharp angkat bag.
Laptop tinggal office.
I would rather datang awal and sacrifice my lunch time
Dari balik lambat or buat kerja office di rumah.

Anyway, plan for this weekend is:
1. Hantar kereta my mama to workshop
2. Nak ke Jln TAR cari tudung sekolah Ms A
3. Continue my gardening project kat belakang rumah
4. Nak masak nasi ayam and pot roast

Salam Jumaat.

Abah

I just got a call from my abah. And it made me cry........

My abah is the best father in the whole world. Tiada lelaki yang sebaik dia dan sesabar dia.

I was the youngest of 3 girls.
When I was 10, my parents divorced. He fought for the custody over 3 of us, his girls and he got it.
I was raised by my Abah.
He never knew how to cook. So we eat out all the time.
He washed all our clothes, iron it perfectly.
He washed our shoes. Putih bernila
Everyday, I will go to school by school bus in the morning, he will pick me up in the afternoon and brought me to his office.
I will eat at the office canteen and later sleep on the sofa in his office
After office, we will pick my sister from school, eat out and go home
That was the routine until we all went to boarding school
He said to his friends "Budak bertiga ni lah nyawa saya"

I always remember my childhood as a happy ones despite my parents divorce.
All because of Abah
He never said a single bad word about my Mama.
He regarded what had happened between them as fate
My life was pretty good actually.

When I was 16, he eventually got married again. And have his new family

Abah came to UK for my graduation
And I remembered he said "Mama should be here to celebrate this"

When I came back and started working
He said to me
"Bila adik dah dapat gaji, jangan lupa bagi duit pada Mama. Tak payah bagi duit pada Abah sebab Abah masih kerja"
"Walau apa pun yang dah berlaku, Mama tetap mama adik. Kalau dia tak lahirkan adik, you will not be who you are today"
Begitu tulus hati Abah

Now, I am very close to my Mama too.
Like abah said, she is my Mama.
Segala apa yang telah berlaku adalah takdir Allah.
Tiada siapa yang salah.
Dan tiada guna untuk memandang kebelakang.

Last week, my sister told me she planned to visit her daughter in Egypt
And wanted to bring abah too.
I agreed to pay for his ticket.
And Along will cover his ground expenses.

So this morning, I bought the ticket
And called Abah to tell him to renew his passport

And just now, Abah called me
And he cried...
He said
"Abah nak ucap terima kasih kat adik belikan tiket abah. Abah doakan adik murah rezeki"

I feel so sad because what I did was nothing compared to what he has done for me.
Saya sanggup bagi nyawa untuk abah.
Inikan pula harta dunia yang tak seberapa ini.

Abah memang macam tu. Belikan baju pun tak putus ucapan terima kasih dia pada kami.

Ya Allah... kau berikan lah kesihatan yang baik pada Abah. Kau rahmatilah hidupnya di dunia dan diakhirat. Kau ampunilah dosanya dan masukkan lah dia ke dalam syurgaMu ya Allah.

Of Present and Future

Today is the last day of 2013. Not that it means anything to me. More significant, today is the last day of school holiday for Ms A. Tomorrow, we have to send her back to school and I feel sad about it.

 

Time like this will make me think if it is the right decision to send her to boarding school. I always believe that you can succeed no matter where you are as long as you give your best effort.

 

The main reason is because we feel that by going to this school, she has a higher chance of getting financial support to pursue her study overseas. She wants to go overseas and we want to see her dream come true. But now... as of today... I'm thinking.. it is worth? Do we have other options?

 

I'm torn and I'm really really sad.

 

She'll be in Form 3 and she's doing well academically so far. She'll be sitting for her O-level in 2015 and I hope after that she can continue her A-level somewhere close to home so I can see her everyday. Hear her giggles, grumbles, shouts and scream.

 

Oh... my eyes filled with tears as I wrote this. This is the sacrifies we have to make for their better future hopefully.

 

May Allah protect her whereever she'll be.

 

Mummy loves you so much and will definitely miss you sweetheart.